Things have been weighing heavily upon my mind of late. My conscience is not clear. It is true that secrets can poison the soul and I have been keeping plenty of them.
Today I need to clean my spiritual closet lest Karma slam me three-fold into an oncoming bus. I have a confession to make…
I am a racist.
Yes, I know you are all shocked by this revelation. I was, too. In fact, I denied it until Martin Bashir shone the light upon my dirty little secret. Here are some horrid examples of my racist attitude that I need to share in order to feel cleansed…
- I do not like Famous Amos™ cookies. Lord help me, I prefer Pepperidge Farm™.
- I buy Mrs. Butterworth’s™ syrup, not Aunt Jemima™, because it has a more buttery taste. Mr. Bashir would most likely conclude that I am subconsciously denying the buttery flavor of Aunt Jemima’s™ product because I am racist.
- I own a black cat. BLATANTLY racist! I know she owns me (as all cats do their humans), but fall back on the same slavery-based language of owning a being that is darker in color than I. Unforgivable!
- I have the audacity to adhere to the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” I give everyone a chance to do right or fuck up – equally.
- I believe that the New Black Panthers are no better than the Ku Klux Klan. I despise them equally.
- I do not trust or respect Barack Obama. I feel he is a bad leader for this nation. Mr. Obama’s policies have taken our nation down two thousand notches in the eyes of the world. His stubborn refusal to remove people who have damaged our reputation and, either secretly or with flags waving and bands playing, sought to suppress the thoughts of those with opposing points of view disgusts me. Pure racism. How do I not end my life now?
- Oh, and I am no fan of Bill Clinton, either. Since he was our “first Black President”, I’m certain this adds to the repulsion you all must feel at my declining moral temperature.
- I detest people who apply the label “Uncle Tom” to intelligent, hard-working, respectable people such as Dr. Ben Carson, Lt. Col. Allen West and Mr. Herman Cain. They are men to be emulated, not ridiculed simply because they are African Americans and should “know better”. They do know better – that’s why they are Conservatives. 🙂
Does anyone else see the absurdity in all of this? Am I alone in thinking that you can dislike what a person does simply because of what they do and NOT because of the color of their skin? Why is this always the fallback argument?
Barack Obama is not a delicate flower. He chose to go into politics and he HAD to know that not everyone would agree with him every day. Why can’t his supporters accept the fact that most people believe that his policies suck big hairy frog balls because they suck big hairy frog balls. Not because he is half African American. When he fucks up and the Liberals are mad at him (AP wiretapping, James Rosen, Verizon records seizure, Benghazi, etc.) is it then because he is half white?