Category Archives: War on Terror

Temper Tantrums

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Obama throwing a tantrum

We don’t have time for this crap. Partisan politics, ignoring our allies because Congress did not “follow protocol”, giving notice in advance that policies the people want to see changed, passed or eliminated will be vetoed, being told we are riding on our high horse above the rest of the world… We just don’t have time.

If I went through the list of times Barry did not “follow protocol”, this would be a twenty page post. That is not to say that tit-for-tat is the right way to deal with his particular brand of immaturity, but I can understand it. Years of enduring belittlement, false accusations (such as shutting down the government when we know damned well that horse was owned by Harry and the Dems in the Senate), working to pass bills only to have Harry Greed sit on them – refusing to put them up for a vote in the Senate – and public castigation by Barry during televised conferences can make one a tad testy, to say the least. Although I was never a fan of Bill Clinton’s policies in general, I respected the way he worked with a Republican majority Congress for the sake of America and her people.   I am not as confident that his wife would do the same, but she is inconsequential in my opinion.

Why does the Ego in Chief have such a hard time understanding his role as President? Why is the Democratic wing of the House led by Nancy Pelosi even considering being unavailable for Benjamin Netanyahu’s speech to the joint Congress? Why is our Vice President suddenly making a trip overseas (and if you believe this was scheduled a long time ago, I have a mountain for sale up here in the Rockies)? If I were one of their constituents, I would be livid. Israel is our ally. They are afloat at sea amidst a gam of sharks known as Islamic Extremists and I feel it is our obligation to at least listen to what Netanyahu has to say before passing judgment one way or another. Barry had time to entertain a group of Muslim “leaders” which included a player for the NBA (but not Dr. Zuhdi Jasser – a decorated Naval Veteran and founder of the American Islamic Forum for Democracy), yet he is throwing a public hissy fit and refuses to meet with Netanyahu? His lack of class is glaringly obvious. But, then again, Netanyahu is just a “chicken shit” and not worthy of the Anointed One’s respect, right? I mean, he only served in Israel’s Sayeret Matkal Special Forces unit when he was in the Israeli military. Gee, Barry, I forgot. What unit did you serve in in our military?

I detest Michael Moore, yet I have read two of his books. They sucked, but one cannot have an intelligent argument without hearing from both sides. I do not understand parents who do not give their children an opportunity to experience some form of religion in their younger years. How can a person make an informed decision later in life without having a basis for that decision? I went to a Congregationalist Church in my youth, but am nonreligious now. Spiritual, yes. However, I have way more faith in God than man. How do you know you hate avocados if you have never tasted one? How does anyone in government know if they agree or disagree with the ideas of others if they don’t open their damned minds and listen to the other side before dismissing them off-hand?

Both parties are guilty of being the boy in the bubble and it needs to stop – now. Whether they wish to admit it or not, we are at war with an enemy who would love nothing better than to see all Western nations obliterated from the face of the earth. In many cases they disguise themselves as fruitful citizens of the very countries they wish to destroy. This is not the type of war we are used to. It is as much psychological as traditional – perhaps more so. That being said, we must be ever watchful.

ISIS is by far the most dangerous cult we have faced in decades. A cult, you ask? Yes. Not much different in tactics and approach than Jim Jones, Charles Manson or the KKK. They target socially disassociated individuals and promise them many things – respect and fear from those who have hurt them in the past, the respect and honor of a god (or, in Manson’s case, Charlie himself), the respect and acceptance of others in the cult and the ability to destroy those they perceive to have tried to destroy them.

However, the aforementioned were pussycats compared to ISIS. Why? Well, for several reasons. Social media did not exist when those cults were in their heyday. Charismatic leaders with evil intent did not have the ability to stretch their tentacles across oceans or continents to reach their intended targets. Photos were carefully distributed as they are today. However, video was not available for international distribution, especially the professionally produced videos we see currently. In most cases, a person wishing to join the cults of yesterday had to physically attend church meetings, rallies or party with Charlie in order to become an initiate. I am not saying the KKK does not still exist, by the way. They have been made all but impotent because people reject their message more than accept it in today’s world.  The media did not report on the atrocities committed by those groups with the frequency and fervor that they do ISIS. The Manson murders were a big story for a bit. So was the People’s Temple massacre. But they soon faded into the ionosphere, as did the crimes committed by the Klan. And, in many cases the despicable acts of the Klan were committed in Southern States in which the media chose not to report on them at all.

ISIS is reaching into our children’s bedrooms and snatching their psyches right out from under our noses and POTUS can’t seem to grasp this concept. Statements by him and his administration show their naiveté over and over again. It is almost as though they perceive ISIS and the rest of the world as nothing more than siblings sitting in the back seat of the family truckster screaming “He’s on my side!” or “I’m not touching you! I’m not touching you!” and all we have to do is yell at them and it will all stop. It is not going to stop. The killing of innocent children is not going to stop. The rape of young girls is not going to stop. The danger to Israel, those being held hostage, our homeland and the blameless caught in the crossfire is not going to stop. Killing our citizens on our soil is not going to stop. And if POTUS and Congress don’t end the bickering that has become all too common in DC these days and come up with a cogent plan to obliterate this boil from the ass of the world, it is only going to get worse. Then it will be all but impossible to stop.

Ennui

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I am not sure how this post is going to turn out. There is sadness, frustration and, yes, resignation flowing through my thoughts and I am not happy with any of those emotions.

Is the sadness a result of the knowledge that most Americans are willing to accept what those in DC are feeding us? A consequence of years of misinformation from both the White House and Congress that we have gotten to the point of “accepting those things [we] cannot change”? Or, the realization that we CAN change them, but are too lazy to do so? What happened to the American Spirit? Yeah, sure, we make snarky, sarcastic remarks about the policies and lack of same of the Ego in Chief. We yell at the TV when yet another insane proposal is made by a member of Congress that we know will never see the light of day or Barry acts like a little child by refusing to meet with our most treasured ally in the Middle East because he chose to talk to a joint session of Congress without permission. We sigh at the announcement of more committees to investigate the findings of other committees that were formed to decide if the very first committee’s findings were just partisan hogwash. Then we let them spend money that we really don’t have to fund said committees, bitch about the national debt under our breaths and bemoan the fact that we can do nothing about it.

Trust me. I am no better than any other American. I bitch, piss and moan right along with the rest of you. I wrack my brain trying to figure out what my one voice can do to change what our nation has become. Talking to the television has become second nature. My dogs think I’m nuts. No, not nuts. Just frustrated. I believed our Constitution would not allow us to get to this point. I believed that those we voted into office would respect the most important document in the history of our great nation. Instead, most of those in DC seem to spend time emulating the NFL – trying to figure out how to run plays that avoid the defensive line our forefathers built to save us from what we have become so that they can score points for their personal campaigns. Just another check in the “win column” so that they can use that to hold on to their cushy government jobs and become Legacies in the DC world. Short of leaving our homes and parking our butts on their doorsteps 24/7 (which seems not to work well, either) what recourse do we have? Do I sound defeatist? Perhaps. I really am not that kind of girl. Believe me, I have been reading and studying a lot over the past few years. The only power we seem to have, short of physically removing those who seem determined to ignore the will of the people and undermine the good works our forefathers did, is the power of our words. However, if our words are crumpled into a ball and thrown in the trash time after time after time, who among us is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice and eradicate the cockroaches in the cupboard? Very few, I believe. We talk a good game. Then, we look at our comfy couches, flat screen TVs, fairly well-stocked pantries and sedentary lives and say to ourselves “Do I really want to jeopardize all of this for freedom?”

Freedom. Ha. Are we truly free when our government can tell us that we count less than those who cross the border illegally? That we should accept the fact that many American citizens will lose their jobs to H1B rated illegal workers who have been given Social Security numbers and drivers’ licenses? That the illnesses our children are contracting are just minor inconveniences we must endure in order to have a more affordable work force? Allow me a moment of immaturity. I have heard people labeled “stupid” because they believe the more recent epidemics of diseases that had been wiped out in America are the result of unvaccinated children crossing our border. You are “stupid” if you believe this is not the case. Immaturity moment has ended. Will those immigration advocates be so protective over illegals when the M13 roles double and triple in hard hit inner city communities and the death tolls rise, or will they join the rest of us in demanding better border security and a larger police presence in those areas? No, they will join in making more videos and organize demonstrations demanding the death of police officers. I used to criticize the police for accepting “toys” from the federal government – things that seem like overkill (pardon the pun) in small towns that previously knew nothing of violent crimes. I even deduced that they could be used if the Anointed One decided to declare Martial Law based upon some manufactured national crisis. That is a belief I still hold in the back of my mind, but after Ferguson I can sort of understand the desire of smaller police organizations to own equipment that can compensate for the lack of personnel if serious situations arise. Sort of…

Because Americans are constantly being pitted against one another based on race, ethnicity and religion day after day by the likes of Holder, Sharpton and Obama (and a whole host of others), we are ignoring one of the biggest threats to our nation since 1993. ISIS is not a threat to us since they are predominantly in Syria and Iraq? Really!?!? I am sure the rookie cops who were attacked by the man screaming “Allahu Akbar” and wielding a hatchet might disagree. Perhaps those who survived Fort Hood would have a thing or two to say about that. Or how about the family of the soldier killed at the Recruitment Center in Arkansas? The list can go on and on. Is it possible that the level of ignorance in the White House is so great that they believe one ocean will stop them dead in their tracks and put a halt to any violence in the United States? Does what people did 800 or 500 years ago in the name of Christ really even out the playing field? I guess we are supposed to accept the rapes, live burials, beheadings and burnings of live human beings because Christians committed heinous acts centuries ago. Just forgive and forget. We had our time, this is theirs. My inner angry woman keeps asking, “Is it January 20, 2017 yet?” I don’t know if our Republic can hold on that long.

It is sad that recalling the days of Jim Crow, Watts, Internment Camps during WWII, the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki or the Sandy Creek Massacre in Colorado can be used time and again to classify us as a nation of hate and divisiveness, but we are Islamophobic when we mention the crimes against humanity committed by ISIS. Sorry, Barry, I would rather be classified an Islamophobe than declared dead after a terrorist attack on US soil – which is inevitable and a lot more imminent than you think. I agree that what has happened to minorities in our nation, or original citizens such as the Native Americans, were horrific. We have worked hard as a nation to correct those wrongs. Not perfect yet, but we have come farther than many other nations in the world to mend our wounds. Although, you seem to be doing all you can to destroy the good we have accomplished. We need to concentrate on the threats of today, not the mistakes made in the past, if we want to survive as a nation. But, I have resigned myself to the belief that you truly dislike America.

This may sound like a strong statement. Maybe if you, just once, sounded sincere when you talk about protecting us and our most treasured way of life I would not feel that way. Perhaps if you stopped blaming the past and started fighting for the future for the sake of our children and grandchildren, I would excuse you for some of your lack of enthusiasm. Sadly, I stand by my statement that you dislike America. You seem to want a Saul Alinsky “paradise”. Those who choose not to educate themselves may think this would be a perfect world if their only source of information was the wide-eyed oratory of cult-like liberal Alinskyites. However, his world is not much different from that of Lenin or Stalin and I WILL get up off my dead ass to protect my child, my husband and my country from the horror of a future like that. Mark my words…

Calling it as I See it…

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Okay, I am getting really tired of waking up every morning and hearing some reporter state that “The President signed an Executive Action for…” Just sayin’.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, I have a question for you. Does anyone else see anything wrong with the Administration and various agencies in the government having video conferences with the deserter’s parents, but keeping Congress out of the loop because of fears information might be leaked? Anyone?

Senator Diane Feinstein (D-CA), a charter member of the Barry Fan Club, seems to be as perplexed by this whole state of affairs as I am. Never in my life would I have thought that I would agree with her on anything whatsoever.

So, now the question must be raised about how much classified information the Bergdahls’ were privy to. Were they aware that five extremely dangerous prisoners would be traded for their son? Did they push for this? After all, Mr. Bergdahl seems quite at ease with communicating his desire to empty out Gitmo in this tweet (later removed from his account): stupidity

Was this tweet removed by him or our government for fear that it might tip off others about the Administration’s plans to make this treasonous trade? Yes, I said treasonous. Deal with it. The Ego in Chief essentially released five enemy combatants back into their stomping grounds, knowing full well (by his own admission) that they will most likely return to their previous positions in the Taliban during a time of war. This is not the “end of the war”, Barry. You have set that date for the end of 2016. This is 2014. We are currently still fighting a war, dumbass.

It can be argued that the physical combat in Afghanistan might end in 2016, but the Taliban, Haqqani network, Al Qaeda and all the other bottom feeders in the world will continue their jihad against America and her allies until the entire world is bowing to Mecca. Thus, we could be “at war” for eternity. Our fight has never been against the people of Iraq or Afghanistan, but terrorist entities who wish to control them and destroy us.

Barry, I believe I have finally figured out why four Americans died in Benghazi on September 11, 2012. You and the rest of our intelligence and military agencies were chatting with the Bergdahls and could not find the time to walk into the Situation Room and try to save our people! No, you were working on releasing more terrorists into the world while the ones running around loose were attacking the post in Benghazi. I know this is just conjecture on my part, but based upon recent developments I would not be surprised if this were the case.

By the way, you might have forgotten about Andrew Tahmooressi – USMC – being held in Mexico. Oh, wait. Silly me. You are probably conducting daily video conference calls with his mother and the authorities in Mexico to secure his release, aren’t you? Of course you are…

Dear Mr. Obama…

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Dear Mr. Obama,

I am the parent, husband, wife, sibling or child of a U.S. Military Veteran who sat (forgotten and neglected) on a waiting list with the Veteran’s Administration to see a doctor for treatment. I did not know my loved one’s name had been placed in a drawer, in the dark shadows of some bureaucrat’s desk. It no longer matters. They are gone now. If the list that contains their name is ever found, you can remove it. Your “help” is no longer needed.

I am a member of the Military who is still serving in Afghanistan. You know, one of the people whose life you put in jeopardy by again announcing a timeline for withdrawal of our troops. If my transportation home is a flag-draped coffin, please stay away when I arrive. My family will not need you to remind them why I am being carried by six of my fellow service members and not carrying my child in my arms for the first time.

I am a Border Patrol Agent who witnessed the death of Brian Terry at the hands of illegal thugs who carried weapons supplied by you. I look at the bean bag in my hand as I load my “gun” and wonder why I still do this when you have just released thousands of convicted illegal criminals into our system. I look across the border and think of Andrew Tahmooressi, a U.S. Marine being held in a Mexican jail because of a wrong turn. Then, I turn my head toward my home land and question why you have let illegal immigrant murderers and rapists run free while he sits there… My friend is in the ground, his family still has no answers and one of our Marines is held captive in a country that is supposed to be our ally.   Do you even care?

I am the spouse of a victim of the radical Islamist who killed 13 at Fort Hood. You remember that, don’t you? It was nothing but workplace violence according to your Attorney General. I and our 4 children are suffering not only from the loss of my spouse and their parent, but financially. Because of the bad decisions made by all of you in Washington, benefits we should be entitled to will not come. I work two jobs and my children have essentially lost both parents, although I am fortunate enough to tuck them in at night when my second shift allows.

I am the son of a Sargent in the U.S. Army who I never met. I do not know if my father is alive or dead. He is a POW in Viet Nam. Well, that is what we were told by some who were able to escape and come home. How can you allow Jay Carney to stand there in front of the American people and explain that Sgt. Bergdahl was released through a deal you made with the Taliban because Americans do not leave our soldiers behind? If that is so, why did I have to grow up without my father? What have you done to secure the release (or find the remains) of our men and women who are either MIA or POWs in Viet Nam? Nothing. Not a damned thing!

I am a former POW who was held in the Hanoi Hilton for 8 years. Our guards did not speak to us in English. In fact, they rarely spoke to us at all. They communicated through torture. However, even being isolated from my fellow Americans did not cause me to forget my native tongue nor did the North Vietnamese succeed in indoctrinating me into their form of Communism no matter how many days they withheld food and water, or committed unspeakable acts of torment and pain. I was captured when my helicopter went down. I did not leave my base to seek them out. I went into the POW camp an American, and I remain an American today – language, customs and all.

I am a NYC Firefighter (Retired) who is now battling a rare form of cancer. Although my doctor says it was most likely caused by the work I did at Ground Zero on (and long after) that horrific day in September 2001, I still await the help my country promised me. I know you were not in charge then, but you are now and any decisions concerning the care all of us were to receive were made under your watch. I watched many young men and women enlist after that day. Our small part of Staten Island felt like a ghost town when they left. Only a few returned. In speech after speech you have taken credit for “decimating” the head of the snake that is the Taliban. Why then, sir, are you reattaching it to the body by releasing the worst-of-the-worst into Afghanistan? Do you need a new “shiny thing” that badly? Maybe this disease is a blessing in disguise. I will doubtless be gone before the next terror strike on our beloved nation. In fact I pray for it to be so.

I am one of those told to stand down on September 11, 2012. I ran toward the fire despite those orders. I survived, unlike Ambassador Stevens, Sean Smith, Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty. We were under attack by terrorists, period. Now you have chosen to release five high-ranking members of the Taliban. How many times are you going to spit on the memories of those men?

I am a resident of Boston. Martin Richard was 8-years-old when he was killed by terrorists on our own soil during the Boston Marathon. Can you explain to his family why one man was so important that you had to send five Taliban members back to their homeland? Most likely not.

Sir, by your own words and actions you have proven that you would have done less harm to the American people by remaining either an ineffectual Senator or a Community Organizer. We do not need your perversion of the truth or stump speeches anymore. Do us all a favor and stick to golf. If you are going to spend our money, at least do it on something you don’t suck at.

Sincerely,

Those Americans Who Pay Attention

What is the Administration afraid of?

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4-killed-e1351742509755An “investigation of an investigation” Mr. Carney? Seems to me that almost everything this POTUS has had his hands in needs to be investigated by special commissions because the DOJ does nothing and the standard committees in Congress are about as useful as teats on a bull. Even though it would cost us taxpayers more money to “re-investigate” incidents that have already been “investigated”, knowing the truth might end up costing us less in the long run.

You know the facts about what really happened in Benghazi are out there. It is a fact that a New York Times reporter was able to meet with one of the people involved in the attack, drink Fuzzy Navels with him, and ask questions about the sequence of events on September 11, 2012. Why can’t our government – with all of our resources – bring this bastard in? Is it because they don’t want him found? You see, Jay, this is how “conspiracies” are formed. Although, they are not actual conspiracies. They are hypotheses being cast about by people who are putting two and two together with what little information they have been given. Big difference between a hypothesis and a conspiracy theory, darlin’. Look it up. I’m sure there has to be a dictionary somewhere in the White House.   A conspiracy theory would involve something kooky like oh let’s say a really bad filmmaker who wreaked havoc across the Middle East because of a 10 minute youtube video that eventually led to the deaths.

My personal hypothesis is that Ambassador Stevens was directed to work with the Iranians or Russians to bring weapons through Libya and deliver them to the anti-government combatants in Syria (many of whom are believed to be members of Ansar Al Sharia). For some reason, this business was not conducted in the Embassy in Tripoli. Now, tell the truth and prove me wrong.

I want Congressman Adam Schiff (D-CA) to sit down with the families of all 4 Americans who were murdered that evening in Benghazi and tell them to their faces that bringing the monsters who killed their loved ones to justice is “a colossal waste of time.” I want the Ego in Chief to be there when he says it, too. After all, isn’t that what the White House is objecting to? Aren’t they essentially against getting to the bottom of things and arresting those responsible for organizing the attacks? Then, I would like the former Senior Advisor to the President – David Plouffe – to explain to the surviving family members that they are simply joining the “loud delusional minority” that believes there is way more to the Benghazi story than is being told.

These immediate verbal attacks on a majority of Americans (from all sides of the political spectrum), members of Congress (regardless of whether their intentions are pure or political), and some in the media (and the numbers of news organizations who do not believe the Administration are growing) seem to come from a place of fear. Barry and his minions are acting like spoiled rotten children throwing temper tantrums. Even Nixon had more class than that.

Dude…

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DudeThis just reinforces the lack of respect this Administration has for the families of those killed and wounded in Benghazi.  Disgusting…

Evil, Wicked, Mean and Nasty

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“Hypocrisy is not a way of getting back to the moral high ground. Pretending you’re moral, saying your moral is not the same as acting morally.” – Alan Dershowitz

Why is it evil, mean and nasty for Police, the FBI and/or CIA, DHS or any of the Alphabet Soup agencies in the United States to survey Muslim organizations? Since when have they backed down when someone whined about wiretaps or placing agents within their organizations? I mean, if you’re not doing anything wrong you have nothing to worry about, right? At least that’s what a lot of Obama brown nosers say when you mention your discomfort with the NSA!  I don’t understand people who are opposed to DHS keeping a close eye on groups like CAIR. NYC Mayor DiBlahblahblah is nearly apoplectic over this. I guess he didn’t see the memorial service for the 4 people killed during and after the Boston Bombing, or 13 souls lost in Fort Hood five years ago, or even remember stories of thwarted terror attempts right in the city where he works. Mr. Mayor, all of the offenders were Muslim. Who are you going to survey, the Mafia, the Hell’s Angels? Who? The Little Sisters of the Poor?

Oh, but wait! Those were “lone wolves” not “real terrorists”. Really? Where do you think they got their ideas, anger and training from? The “Spring Holiday No Longer to be Known as Easter” Bunny? NO! They got them from some Muslim organizations right here in the United States, online from radical Imams and some even went to “Terrorist Training Camps” for their summer vacations.

Let me ask you something, DiBlahblahblah. Do you think it was ethnic intimidation when the FBI watched every time Vincent Gigante, John Gotti, Sr., Al Capone or Paul Castellano farted? Was it unfair to single out Little Italy, The Italian Gun Club or other private clubs in Brooklyn, Staten Island, Long Island or New Jersey? They were wire tapped. They were infiltrated and, at times, members were “convinced” to become rats – like that POS Sammy Gravano. No one blinked an eye or protested on the behalf of Italian-Americans!

What about the raids on motorcycle clubs? Yeah, well, you probably feel that no one gives a crap about those dirty bikers anyway. Most of them are family men who hold down good jobs. I know. I married one. You know, you dumb F**k, Harleys are not cheap! No one cries or protests when a fat, sorry, POS infiltrates a club or wiretaps are placed on personal phones. No one saw any problem with almost convicting two young mothers for talking about diapers on the phone (they were really talking about drugs so says the FBI). The FBI was wrong and the judge laughed them out of court, thank God.

I assume you would argue that they’re usually white. You would be wrong. Some are Mexican clubs, some are African American clubs and some could be Martians for all I know. But, why is it okay to target them and not CAIR for investigation? In a day-and-age when there are a gazillion surveillance cameras on almost every street in every major city in America, who isn’t being watched?

If you are going to push for the removal of surveillance of Muslim organizations, buddy, you better damned well do the same for the rest of us.

WTF?…We are at WAR?!?!?!

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Who’da thunk it?  War, huh?  I wouldn’t have believed it, but the Anointed One said so Himself right there on national tee-vee!

We are at war.  We are at war against al Qaeda, a far-reaching network of violence and hatred that attacked us on 9/11, that killed nearly 3,000 innocent people, and that is plotting to strike us again.  And we will do whatever it takes to defeat them.

Damn!  Even interrupted my Soap Opry, Days of our Lives, ta say it.  Better tell Pa ‘bout this.  He’s gonna need to clean the guns.  Glad I canned all them ‘maters ‘n such…gonna need ‘em now!

And that man what put a bomb in his britches! Obarma sayin’ him’s a TERRORIST!!! Sure as sunrise, he done said it…

failed Christmas terrorist attack

Ya see?  A bone-a-fide TER-OR-IST!! I better let Erline know.  She ain’t got no tee-vee…

(Barack, your “Duh!” file is getting pretty thick.)

2009 “Bite Me” Awards

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Welcome to the Inaugural Bite Me Awards show.  The Bite Me was conceived in my warped little mind by a majority of my alternate personalities during a marathon game of Beer Pong.  Obviously, I lost.  The award reflects my views on the major events that occurred during 2009.   So, if you don’t agree with my selection of Bite Me recipients, BITE ME 😉

  • The first Bite Me goes to DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano.   She hemmed and hawed when asked if she had reviewed both the Terror Watch List and No-Fly List.  Well, of course she didn’t have time to perform this “minor” task.  Secretary Napolitano was too busy compiling a list of her own.  This one included returning Veterans, members of certain religious organizations, members of the VFW and American Legion, members of the NRA and people affiliated with several grass-roots organizations throughout the United States.  It is entitled the “Domestic Terror Watch list”.  Janet – BITE ME!!!
  • Speaker Nancy Pelosi – Poor thing.  She is obviously operating under the delusion that she is the be-all to end all in the world of…well, in the World PERIOD.  Speaker Pelosi gets a special Bite Me for equating Tea Party protestors to the hateful, anti-gay murderer of Harvey Milk in the 1970’s.
  • Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) has earned an award for this enlightened statement made in reference to the special deals given to certain Senators in order to pass the Health Care Reform bill – “I don’t know if there is a senator that doesn’t have something in this bill that was important to them.  And if they don’t have something in it important to them, then it doesn’t speak well of them.”  Really?  I think this ignorance deserves a very special award for going above and beyond the normal degree of elitist bullshit – the coveted “Constitution?  We don’t need no stinkin’ Constitution!” Award.

Harry, Harry, Harry…read Article I, Section 8, ¶1.  It appears to me that Congress is in clear violation of Constitutional Law.  Just to make it easy on you, I will quote the referenced section:

“The Congress shall have Power to lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises SHALL BE UNIFORM THROUGHOUT THE UNITED STATES:…”

In other words, darlin’, by making some states exempt from paying certain taxes, etc., you have created an atmosphere of inequity and, thus, are in violation of the law as set forth in the Constitution on September 17, 1787.  (Not to mention that little Tenth Amendment thingy.)  Hey, but what do I know?  I’m just a girl.

  • Attorney General Eric Holder gets a Big Apple style “YO!  Bite Me!”  for transferring the terror trials from military to civilian jurisdiction; a) placing undue burdens on the economies of both New York City and the nation as a whole; b) putting NYC residents, 9/11 Victims’ Families, first responders and, again, the entire country through the emotional turmoil of watching scum like KSM and his buddies spew their hatred in open court; and c) giving terrorists the opportunity to learn even more about our security methods and interrogation techniques.  I believe that you and your boss should be held personally liable if it is proven that any future attacks against American Citizens on American Soil were made possible as a direct result of knowledge obtained by terrorists via court transcripts from these trials once they have taken place.
  • A “Mini Bite Me” goes to both NYC Police Commissioner Ray Kelly (whom I used to have a great respect for) and NYC Mayor Bloomberg for thinking the trials are a good idea.
  • No Bite Me Awards show would be complete without a Redneck, Racist, Gun Owning, Sea Kitten Hatin’, Tea Party Astro-Turfer Bite Me for my favorite Diva of Dementia – Janeane Garofalo!  Unfortunately, Ms. Garofalo could not be here to accept her award in person as she is currently undergoing treatment for depression after learning that both Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin made the New York Times Bestseller List.  We have arranged for a can of Dolphin-safe Tuna to accept this award on her behalf.  (Well, at least there’s a chance the Tuna might say something funny.)

Well, folks, we have come to the part of the evening you have all been waiting for.  In a moment we will award the most prestigious prize to the individual most deserving of our love and respect…according to Him, anyway.  This year’s recipient has had a lifetime of n0n-achievement that has spanned the globe – from the Menteng region of Jakarta to the State of Hawaii he has avoided, evaded, organized, lectured, campaigned and fundraised his way into the highest office in the land. Some of you know him as Barry, Bam, The One or Rock.  Here he is, folks…President Barack Hussein (Soetoro?) Obama II!!!!!!!  Excuse me…What?…Really?  Okay, okay…

Sorry, folks.  It seems the Anointed One will not be here tonight.  As with other important events, he has chosen to play golf instead of accepting responsibility.  Never fear!  We have done well without him so far.  I’m sure we can do without him now and in the future.

I will now present the Bite My Tattooed Ass Award to He Who Walks on Water in absentia.  Barack was chosen for this honor in part because of moments such as:

  • The Beer Summit debacle – His comments 6 days after this incident were classic:
    • “I don’t know, not having been there and not seeing all the facts,…” (He should have shut up at that point, but NO!) “…what role race played in that [Gates case].  But I think it is fair to say, number one, any of us would be pretty angry; number two, that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home; and, number three, what I think we know separate and apart from this incident is that there’s a long history in this country of African-Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately.  That’s just a fact.”  (Jeepers, Wally.  Seems like the Beav was just a tad out of control there, huh?)
    • Apology Tours I, II and (who could forget Copenhagen) III.  Not to mention the pre-election, “I’m running for leader of the World” Campaign Apology-in-Advance Tour.
    • How ‘bout those heart-wrenching “get me some ICY HOT™ my back hurts” moments when our beloved President bowed before (oops, meant to say “ inspected the shoes of”) two foreign leaders.
    • Last, but certainly not least, the “Do I Really have to interrupt my freakin’ golf game for THIS!?!?” comments made during his oh-so-greatly-deserved vacation in Hawaii in which the Anointed One referred to the Underwear Bomber (gotta love the warm, fuzzy nick names the press gives to terrorists bent on the destruction of our society) as an “isolated extremist”.  Hmmm…that’s funny.  Nidal Hasan was also an “isolated extremist”.  But, didn’t they both communicate with the same Imam?  Gee, babe, they don’t seem so isolated to me.  I’m just sayin’…

That concludes our awards show this evening.  Thank you all for taking the time to be here with me to celebrate the accomplishments of all of our honorees.

I would like to wish each and every one of you (even Ben 🙂 ) a wonderful, safe and Happy New Year’s Eve.  My heart is with our brave men and women serving our nation overseas and at home.

Thank You?…not so much

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After last night’s address to the nation concerning his Afghan Strategy, the Anointed One received many notes of thanks from around the globe:

Dear President Obama,

Thank you so much for the information concerning your projected date of withdrawal from Afghanistan.

Your advice is of great import to us as it will save our Brothers much time and effort.  We can now concentrate on training our troops, stockpiling weapons and recruitment for a future takeover of Afghanistan.

In the meantime, we will continue to rest in Pakistan.  This is sorely needed as we have been fighting for many years and our bones are weary.

In closing, we have one favor to ask you.  Do you think you might find it in your heart to send us a Wii?  The nights are long and television sucks here.

With great respect and appreciation,

THE TALIBAN

Here’s one from an unnamed Afghani National Guardsman:

Mr. President,

Thank you sooo much for letting us know in advance that we are SCREWED.  Your half-assed commitment to our cause is truly heartwarming.

Last night 200 recruits fled into the night.  I believe I heard them say they were going to Pakistan to play Wii with the Taliban.  I have no idea what this means, but it doesn’t sound good.

Anonymous in Afghanistan

Then there was this one from our European Allies:

Barack,

Are you f***ing serious!?!?

Good Lord, man, do you really expect us to commit more troops to Afghanistan when you have given up before you even start?  Why should anyone back your play when you are clearly not interested in victory?

We will have to think long and hard about putting more young men and women in harm’s way for a cause that even the United States of America does not believe in.  You will be hearing from us in, oh, ninety days or so…

And, finally:

Mr. President, Sir:

I am writing to express my deep appreciation for your commitment to our Armed Forces.  My fellow Marines and I were able to watch your speech on Fox this morning.

We especially enjoyed the part when you said we will be getting some relief by 2010.  I never realized what a funny guy you are.  Maybe you can invite my family over for a beer after my funeral.

A United States Marine