The Seven Deadly States

Cry and Howl wrote a great post yesterday entitled Obama’s fundamental transformation of America. At the end of the post, he invited his readers to add in any issues he might have omitted. My comment concerned the fact that we have 57 states, according to the Anointed One.

Later on, my warped mind pondered exactly what those states could be and what they might represent. Here is what I came up with:

  1. The State of Apathy – Those who reside in this state have resigned themselves to the belief that the government is all-powerful and the sheeple are powerless to fight it. Popular terms used in this state are “whatever”, “may as well just comply…”, “life as we know it is over anyway, so why fight the system?” and “things will get better – Obama said so”. Most residents are locked into government programs that dictate their lives, bleeding dry their will or desire to succeed and leaving their ambition dead and bloated on the side of the road. This is a dangerous state. If you make a wrong turn and end up here, any will to maintain your individual rights and fight against the machine (if I may borrow a phrase from the 1960s) is drained from your soul.
  2. The State of Racist Americans – If you land in this state, anything and everything you say will be construed as racial hatred towards the Ego in Chief or Eric Holder. There is no justification, other than you are a racist, for disagreeing with policies produced by the administration. Logical thought or intellectual conversations are not permitted. It is preached that Black Conservatives are being used by the Republicans simply to hide the White Elites’ truly racist agenda. They are tools of deception. The preferred method of thought control in this state is to muzzle you and brand you a racist until you begin to believe it yourself.
  3. The State of Foreign Affairs – Within the borders of this state are various agencies of the government such as The Department of “I am Madder than Hell”, Bureau of Red Lines in the Sand, The Department of “What Difference does it Make?”, National Bureau of Regulating Free Speech through Snarky Dismissal of Opposing Thoughts, and The Department of “I Believe in American Exceptionalism” and will do anything I can to crush it. This is a state in which eloquent speeches are made, but the echo within the emptiness of their words can be deafening. It borders The State of Denial on one side and The State of Apoplexy on the other. It is a great place to vacation – offering top notch golf courses and the requirement that one does nothing but further one’s own agenda.
  4. The State of Denial – The motto of this state is “It is all George W. Bush’s fault.” There is currently a proposal to add a second motto “I was unaware of this situation until I saw it on TV or read it in the newspapers.” Common traits of those who reside in this state are to dismiss potential threats to our security as “regional issues that do not affect Americans”, deny that wars in oil rich countries will affect fuel prices at home, delaying measures that could make us energy independent for political purposes, ignoring warnings from those who are knowledgeable in intelligence, military and foreign policy issues because the administration knows better and releasing enemy combatants back into the fight because living on a tropical island with every amenity one could wish for is cruel and unusual punishment. They hold strong beliefs that W strengthened the Taliban by ousting Saddam Hussein. Convenient memory loss is common in this state as the residents seem to forget the thousands of bodies of men, women and children found in mass graves due to the acts of genocide practiced by Saddam.
  5. The State of Apoplexy – Be warned that entering this state could expose you to rabid, irrational thoughts and words. You might be subjected to residents with sledgehammers who thrive upon pounding inane thoughts into your brain. They are a war-torn state as they are currently defending the downtrodden in the War on Women, the War on the Middle Class, the War on Children, and the War on Immigration just to name a few. Excited, nonsensical utterances are frequent. Some people who reside in this state are Nancy Pelosi, Harry Greed and Debra Wasserman-Schultz. Minor players such as Sandra Fluke can be found there, as well.
  6. The State of “War, huh, good God. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Listen to me” (Edwinn Starr) – The Anointed One is a temporary resident of this state. His delusional philosophy that the world loves him and he can cure all of her ills by simply singing his siren song of peace has created a cult-like ambience within its borders. This “peaceful atmosphere” he declares to have created has resulted in Iraq being systematically invaded by the terrorists who were supposed to have been decimated or on the run, with the added bonus of control of large portions of Syria. There is no trust within the confines of this state. With each utterance comes a new crisis in the Middle East, Central Europe or Far East. Just as they accused some Americans of clinging to God and guns, the residents cling to every word that exits his mouth as though he were the brother of the Dahli Llama. However, there is a Kool Aid™ shortage and many are defecting to the State of Denial. Some have actually relocated to one of the original 50 states where common sense can still be found.
  7. The State of Control Over the Citizens Through Economic Suppression – The dogma followed in this state is that raising the minimum wage to $15 per hour will save them from poverty when, in fact, the opposite is true. The belief that higher payrolls mean less available jobs is a crime. If a resident is caught mentioning a potential increase in unemployment, increased prices for consumers and the likelihood that more citizens will need government aid to survive he/she may face jail time. In order to live in this state, you must believe that we are in a recovery, raising pay will increase jobs and government aid is a hand-up – not a path to the State of Apathy. One must also adhere to the philosophy that a national debt of $9 trillion is unpatriotic while ignoring our current debt of $17 trillion (which is completely patriotic and necessary).

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