2013 “Bite Me” Awards

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For those of you who did not read my first (and only until now) “Bite Me” awards, let me educate you. They are a collection of serious, sarcastic, sometimes angry and often “what the f**k were they thinking?” news and personal items that have been rattling through my head during the year.
Feel free to add on if you think I forgot something. Keep in mind, personal attacks, racial and gender slurs and vulgarities aimed at anyone who comments on my post will not be published. I am a big girl and I can take it, but I will not allow anyone to disrespect my guests.
That being said, here goes:

1. Jahi McMath has been declared brain dead by a judge in California. She is 13. She received a routine tonsillectomy and suffered a cardiac incident post-surgery that placed her in a “vegetative state”. What has truly been lost in all of this is “How did she get this way in the first place?” It is difficult enough to lose a child, but Jahi’s parents have faced this tragedy during what is supposed to be one of the most joyous times for a young girl – Christmas. Isn’t it easy to understand why they are fighting so hard to have her moved to a facility willing to take their insurance and keep her on life support until her “natural death”? However, the hospital she is in currently will not perform the procedure required to transport her to the nursing home because (and I am paraphrasing) they do not perform medical procedures on cadavers. Jahi is not a cadaver to her family, she is their child. This hospital gets a Vacant Heart Bite Me for their complete lack of empathy.

Update:  Jahi’s family won the right to have her moved to a long-term care facility and receive the care she needs.  I will pray for her and her family.  No matter the final outcome, she will always be in the hands of the Angels.

2. Since I am a Libertarian, one could safely assume that the legalization of marijuana in my state does not really bother me. What does bother me is that it seems like the legislators all got together in someone’s mom’s basement with a huge bong, some good skunk weed and a few cases of Lay’s™ potato chips and said “Dude, this legal stuff is a total buzz kill. Just make it okay to smoke and worry about the boring shit later.” “Yeah, man, seriously. Hey, stop hoggin’ on that shit man! I need a hit. Oh, and give me those chips…” It seems as though we are a study-obsessed society. We study everything. The effects of baby poop on our air quality, whether purple hair ties will leak dye into our brains or if e-cigarettes are tempting our youth to become deviant smokers. So, why is it so hard to come up with laws concerning driving under the influence of pot? “Colorado’s Amendment 64, also passed in November 2012, legalizes private pot use by most adults and allows them to grow a small number of marijuana plants. However, no legal blood limit was set for drivers. The debate about what should be done is ongoing” (Edmunds.com, 1/15/2013). You can smoke a joint outside of a restaurant or a store – that’ll just get someone else high if they are forced to stand there, too. Smoke a cigarette and you are lower than a child molester! So, the “But I Got High” Bite Me goes to the Colorado legislators for whatever they were smoking – or not – before they passed this law.

Update:  A chain of sushi restaurants in Colorado has come up with a pairing menu for those who smoke weed.  I wonder if they are only going to allow those 21 and over who do not mind a contact buzz into their restaurants, designate a day specifically for this activity, or just run things like they usually do.  Can’t wait to see how this one plays out…

3. David D. Kirkpatrick of The New York Times wrote, “The violence, though, also had spontaneous elements. Anger at the video motivated the initial attack. Dozens of people joined in, some of them provoked by the video and others responding to fast-spreading false rumors that guards inside the American compound had shot Libyan protesters. Looters and arsonists, without any sign of a plan, were the ones who ravaged the compound after the initial attack, according to more than a dozen Libyan witnesses as well as many American officials who have viewed the footage from security cameras” (nyt.com, 12/28/2013) (emphasis added).

“’I still see pictures on that TV of bloody finger prints on the wall thinking ‘are those my son’s?’ Patricia Smith said” (fox5SanDiego.com, 8/20/2013).

I dare Mr. Kirkpatrick to sit across the table from Mrs. Smith and try to explain his delusional “theories” to a mother who cannot get a straight answer from anyone in Washington. Are the Democrats in Washington so desperate to win their seats in 2014 that they are sending one of their shills out there to rehash an already disproved story and make it appear as though it is new information? For this reason, I am awarding the Manufactured Crises Bite Me to Mr. Kirkpatrick and The New York Times for their valiant efforts to bail out a sinking ship with a thimble.

4. I want to know what planet the Ego in Chief resides upon when he is not on Earth boring us with his condescending speechifying. If he is so concerned about the fact that the House Republicans have not produced a gazillion page roll of toilet paper that masquerades as a Health Care Law, as his does, I have a news flash for him. They haven’t. What they have done is come up with basic solutions to our nation’s health insurance issues as smaller bills that would not cause the chaos his behemoth has. If he wants to know where these solutions are, he needs to look up Harry Reid’s ass. Senator Reid has been sitting on them for years. My personal message to Barack – Barry, babe, it might be too late for you. You are the lamest duck I have ever seen. You would not know the truth if it bit you on the ankle and you think your silken words will lull our ears to believe all we hear you utter. Sorry, Sweet Cheeks, but you are not a Siren. Because your ego is so huge I know leaving a legacy is extremely critical to your self-image. Here’s an idea! Act like a damned grown up, repeal your law and hire people who actually know what they are doing to rewrite it. We do not need to overhaul our entire system, just initiate tort reform, tweek some of the Medicaid and Medicare requirements and allow the health insurance companies to engage in commerce across state lines. Then, maybe Harry can afford to go have surgery so he doesn’t walk around like he has every piece of legislation the House has produced since 2010 up his ass anymore. You might even leave office with a modicum of dignity. Mr. Anointed One, I am awarding you the Aesop’s “The Ass in Lion’s Silk” Bite Me.

5. You might not have done this as a child, but I never listened to my mother so I used to put pennies on the train tracks and watch them stretch and get thinner. Give me some slack – it was a small town and we still had black & white TV back then. Anyway, the penny’s length and width might have increased, but its strength and worth diminished greatly. This is similar to what happens when you just keep printing money in order to solve your problems. More money – worth less. More money – more people have dollars but they are economically weaker. The Holy Shit! We Gotta do SOMETHING! Bite Me of 2013 goes to the Federal Reserve. I am sure my future grandchildren will thank them some day when they are pushing wheelbarrows full of money into Kroger’s to get a loaf of bread.

6. I just found out yesterday – on the local news, mind you – that at least 19,000 Medicaid subscribers have had their HIPAA information hacked in Colorado. Although, we are being half-heartedly assured that no one has had their social security or bank account numbers stolen, I don’t think many are buying it. Our exchange is subsidized by the federal government, so I guess it should have been a foregone conclusion. Why will the government not listen to those who know best and install their security systems first and build upon them? So, this Bite Me is the “AND FOR THE HEARING IMPAIRED…”

Garrett_morris_SNL_news_for_the_hard_of_hearing

which I am awarding to all of those in government who should put their hands down and back away from the techie shit!

7. I have decided to start an organization and request 501(c)(3) status. It will be called Gun Owning, Law Abiding, Constitutional Originalist, Bra Hating Women over 50 Who Don’t Give a Shit About KimYe. So…who’s giving odds on my chances I get approved within the next 10 years? My final Bite Me goes to the IRS and Barry’s campaign machine for Gestapo Tactics Cleverly Disguised as Economic Equity Programs.

Please do not forget me when I am in prison. I have enjoyed writing my blog with the hopes that I have entertained, informed, angered and provoked thought over the years…lol 🙂

Katrina

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