Common-sensocate

mawwageI know that I regale you with stories of my past to the point of wanting to slam your own head into a brick wall.  I would like to think that the tales I relate give you some insight into why I write the words that follow.  So, fair warning, here I go again…

My step-brother was gay.  Even at a young age, though I didn’t really understand what gay was, I had a sense he was not like other men in my family.  He died in 1990 after a 10 year battle with AIDS.  My step-father went through Hell trying to find a Jewish funeral home that would perform the service, and was denied burial of his son in every cemetery he contacted in the New York City area.  Fred had to be cremated – against his religious beliefs.

Times have changed, thankfully.  Families no longer have to go through the same Hell.  We are a more understanding society now.  At least, for the most part.

Here is where I lose those who cannot accept my views:

I am not a religious person.  I was raised Dutch Reformed and Congregationalist.  I had no idea there was a concept called Hell until I met my future step-mother (Roman Catholic).  As I grew up, I figured out that God was a lot smarter than Man, so I no longer do organized religion.

Now to my point…Why would God create beings that are gay if he/she did not mean for them to be accepted by the rest of us?  No one “makes” someone gay.  If they try to, all they end up doing is fucking up someone’s head and leading them to a therapist’s couch.  You are born gay or straight.  Period.

Every human craves love and acceptance.  Few of us find true love during the course of our lives.  We are among the exceptionally lucky if we do.  Does it really matter if the love is between two men, two women or a man and a woman?  Tell me what harm this does?

Children need love and acceptance, too.  They need to feel safe within the environment they call home and to be accepted by their peers and family both.  Who are we to judge if a same-sex couple will give less love or wrong love because they are gay?  Are we so closed minded to think that only gay couples are capable of mentally and emotionally scarring their children just because they are gay?  What about the thousands of “normal” couples who mistreat their children?  What about the hundreds of heterosexual fathers, brothers, uncles, etc., who sexually abuse the very children they were supposed to protect.  It is possible that these horrific violations happen to the children of same-sex couples.  I’m sure it does.  But, not because they are gay – because they are sick people.  Sick people can be gay or straight.

Another misconception is that allowing gay marriage is an affront to God.  Whose idea of God?  Yours?  Mine?  The woman down the street’s?   No one is saying that any church, synagogue, mosque, coven, etc. has to perform marriage ceremonies for same-sex couples against their will.  Marriage can now be exclusively limited to a civil ceremony and be considered legal without a member of the clergy signing the Marriage Certificate.  And, in all honesty, none of us are going to truly know if God is pissed until we die – depending upon whether you believe you will learn things from God after death.  If he/she is pissed, I guess we are in deep shit.  If not, no harm no foul.  I can think of many more things that we as humans have done collectively and individually during our lifetimes to piss off God than allowing other humans that he/she created to marry each other.  Can’t you?

I am not a gay rights advocate.  I am a common-sensocate.  There are bigger issues in our nation today than the ones voted on by the Supremes today.

As much as he and I did not get along, I wish my step-brother were alive today to find love, get married, maybe adopt children and, possibly,  learn not to be such a spoiled brat 🙂 .

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