Setting – Customer Service Counter, Anytown, USA.

Customer Service Employee (CSE):  Hi!  Welcome to GovMart.  How can I help you?

Customer:  I would like to return this President.  I have the receipt.

CSE:  Okie Dokie…let’s see.  Hmm.  Ma’am the date on this receipt is November 2008.  GovMart policy is “Refunds or Exchanges within 30 days…”  Tell me what’s wrong with this President and I will see if my supervisor can help.

Customer:  Well,  it worked as advertised until January.  Then I noticed little things like the transparency feature seemed to malfunction, it goes into “Apology Mode” whenever we go out of town, it is very costly to maintain.  The “Elitist Function” won’t turn off and the “Revisionist History” option activates at the most embarrassing times.  The optional Vice President that we purchased must have a worm or something because it is completely useless.   Plus, the President won’t work with the Secretary of State recommended by the manufacturer.

CSE:  Oh, I see.  Those are all valid complaints, but I’m afraid I need something more to bring to my supervisor if I am going to help you.

Customer:  Sometimes his voice changes and he sounds eerily like the Speaker of the House.  It is scaring my kids.  This President is causing harm to my family’s finances.  My husband lost his job at the automobile dealership, our credit card interest has gone up tremendously and we are facing foreclosure on our home because there is 12% unemployment in our state and my husband can’t find another job.

CSE:  Yeah, we have had a lot of customers trying to return this model lately.  I will get my supervisor and be right back.

One hour later…

Supervisor:  Hi, Ma’am.  I talked to the manufacturer’s rep and I am afraid we cannot help you.  GovMart policy is clearly spelled out on your receipt.  You should have read the fine print before purchasing this model.

Customer:  Well, what am I supposed to do? I mean, my family is suffering and I don’t know how much longer we can take listening to this…

Supervisor:  The only solution is to make sure you purchase a good Senator when they come up for renewal.  Unfortunately, the Franken has just come out and it seemed to be popular in Minnesota.  However, newer models should be available in 2010.  As far as your choice for President?  Well, several manufacturers are unveiling their 2012 models.  Read everything you can and make certain you choose from your head and not fall prey to fancy advertising gimmicks next time.

Customer:  Well, thank you for at least trying to help.

Supervisor:  Certainly.  And, thank you for shopping at Govmart.  Have a wonderful day.  Buh-bye.