My alternate personalities are at it again. Even though I am supposed to be in charge of the whole shebang, they occasionally hold meetings without me.
I know, I know…maybe they are just looking out for my mental welfare. I really could use a vacation. However, their timing sucks.
Most of them are reasonable, creative, caring and somewhat fun. And then there’s Joe...
Somehow VP Biden slipped into the room when no one was paying attention. He is quite difficult to control and refuses to stick to the script. And he takes control at the worst possible moments. Some of the situations he has put me in are just downright embarrassing!
Case in point – WalMart. I am really trying to stick to a healthy diet. Typical over-45 stuff like hypertension, LDL is high, HDL is low, etc. But Joe goes to Walmart and suddenly I have a cart full of Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked Ice Cream, fish sticks, deep fried cheddar cheese curds and Oreo Cakesters!!!!!
He puts me in tight corners when he makes promises to people without considering how badly he is overtaxing an already disabled body.
The last straw was Monday. I had to go to the dentist to begin extensive dental work. The dentist noticed that I have “KIRBY” tattooed inside of my lower lip. Of course, the dentist asked what it meant. Wouldn’t you? Well instead of the usual response that the personalities had previously agreed upon ( “Just a nickname”), Joe told the dentist “It’s a better brand of vacuum cleaner…and it lasts longer.”