Ever since the “Obama Teleprompter Blunder” I have been playing a game in my mind in which I insert statements that are totally off-the-wall…

These are a small sampling of my “fantasy inserts” (and before you comment, I know that I have no life 🙂 ).  The “inserts” are italicized…

• “My fellow Americans, I have had the opportunity to meet with the Prime Minister of Israel.  We had a very productive session in which I stuck carrots up my nose and discussed Israel’s position regarding my stupidity in closing Gitmo without a plan for placement of  the detainees. We have mutually concluded that  John McCain SHOULD have won the election and that America is now officially screwed.”
• At a press conference concerning the media’s portrayal of his first 100 days in office – “Some people may think that all I receive is good press from the media, and this is true because the ones who choose not to kiss my ass will not be called on by the Gibbs-bot Model 2009 during our daily White House briefings.”
• ” I have called for complete transparency when it relates to the negligees Michelle wears to bed, but not when it concerns matters that are important to the American people.”
• ” Vice President Joe Biden has the experience and knowledge of a sand flea.  We have now resorted to duct taping him to his office chair until 2012 when I can choose a new Vice President without embarrassing myself.”
• “House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has served this country as a raging harpy. I firmly believe that she is trying to dig a hole for the Democratic Party. I have absolute faith in her ability to single handedly bring down our party and piss off every agency responsible for national security.”

Well, wasn’t that fun?  I know I feel better 🙂