I’m trying to expand my mastery of linguistics.  So far I am fluent in Husband, 22-year-old Diva Daughter, deaf Jack Russell Terrier and have basic skills in Auto Mechanic, Plumber and WalMart Cashier…not bad.

However, no matter how hard I try the highly complex Biden and Pelosi elude me.  I have searched Rosetta Stone, Berlitz and other language learning sites.  I have travelled far and wide (okay, into the next town) through every Office Supply, Computer and Book Store for some form of Pelosi/English English/Pelosi dictionary.  No luck.

The only books I could find on the subject is “Mastering the Waffle” and several guides for babysitting the elderly.  Though these have been somewhat helpful, I am still lacking in the skills required to understand the nuances of these obviously obtuse forms of communication.

So, as a last ditch effort to comprehend those who are 2nd and 3rd in line for the Presidency (hmm, maybe I should have researched the “Horror” section?), I am dusting off my “Clinton-Speak 101” from the 80’s and hoping for the best.